In need of a miracle
by phoenixgirl26
Summary: Harry has slipped into severe depression but that is not the only thing wrong the the saviour. Can a miracle be found in time to save the saviour's life. Warning, slash, strong language, sexual dialogue.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter one

The first few days after the battle of Hogwarts Harry Potter spent alone, usually sitting down near the black lake. Even though Voldemort was dead Harry couldn't seem to smile, but he couldn't seem to feel anything except overwhelming grief. His thoughts started first on Remus and Tonks, knowing that their son would grow up without his parents. When he thought about Remus his mind would drift to Sirius and his grief seemed to overtake his senses, it felt to Harry that it went right to his very soul. He realised why he was feeling it now when he never did right after Sirius died, he had heard the prophecy and knew that it would come down to him, that everyone could die unless he could fulfilled the prophecy, that consumed his every waking hour, even consumed his dreams. So now it was over Harry was finally realising that he really was alone, completely alone, Sirius and Remus were the closest Harry had to family. When Harry felt this grief start to overwhelm him he would quickly hide behind the bushes before anyone saw the tears falling down his face. Little did he know that there was one person who saw that Harry Potter was not coping, but he was also the only person that knew the full extent of what was causing the young man's pain.

Severus Snape had been found alive when Neville, Seamus, Dean and Ernie had gone to retrieve his body from the shrieking shake. Thanks to the care from the healers who worked tirelessly with everyone that had been injured, Severus survived with only a few more scars to add to all his others. So he stood at one of the windows up on the fifth floor staring down at Harry Potter who had his head in his hand and even though Severus was high up, he could see Harry's body shake with his sobs. Severus knew Harry usually told his two friends, Hermione and Ron everything, he believed there is one thing that Harry would not reveal to them, this piece of news Harry would keep to himself. Which was another reason Harry Potter was having such a hard time, knowing the truth, knowing he shared his soul with a piece of Voldemort's soul and knowing Harry would always keep that information to himself. Severus had watched the Weasley girl sit beside Harry, she even tried to kiss him but all Harry did was shake his head and pull away, but he never spoke. Severus could tell that Ginny Weasley was confused and hurt by the way Harry acted, but he knew she would never find out the reason, not from Harry and since he, Severus Snape was the only person alive who knew the truth, the reason behind Harry's depression would remain his secret. He wasn't sure if he should try to help Harry or if he should just keep an eye on him, without the boy knowing of course. No Severus thought to himself, no, not a boy, a man, a young man who was suffering, Severus saw it, no one else did. But it seemed the girl that liked Harry couldn't see what was right in front of her face, it was clearly etched all over Harry's face. Severus knew that some people only saw what they wanted to see, they were blind to everything else. Severus also observed Ron and Hermione sit beside Harry, Hermione seemed to look concerned, but Severus knew she was a very bright young woman who had been watching Harry since the day they met, so she knew something was wrong, Ron on the other hand looked a little angry when Harry refused to speak especially about his sister who was hurt and confused right now, all Harry did was shrug which made the red head's temper rise. These people were supposed to be Harry's closest friends, but only one apart from himself saw the pain this young man was in. Severus had also observed the way Harry was when he overheard a conversation between Minerva and Harry, the young man asking to remain at Hogwarts, that he wished to help with the repairs. Even though Severus knew Harry had strong feelings towards this old school he knew that was not the only reason Harry asked to stay. He did not want to leave, that was for a couple reason, the first was how everyone would treat him now, the second because to Harry this was his home and he did not want to leave home. He had lost his family so he wanted to keep hold of something that meant a lot to him, Hogwarts, a place he might have endured pain and suffering, but a place that meant more to Harry than any other student that came before him.

Severus walked down towards the lower levels ready to begin work when he overheard a heated argument between Hermione Granger and Ron Weasley.

'Ron, you need to open your eyes, Harry is suffering right now. Something was in that memory from Snape, something that made him go into the forbidden forest and surrender to Voldemort. Harry's in pain right now and if I was to take a guess which I hate doing, I would say he's seriously depressed. Remember, as far as he's concerned he's alone in the world, especially since Sirius died. He feels like there isn't anyone out there that he can talk to, even us.'

'Fine, he's depressed, then why won't he talk to us when he used to tell us everything?'

'Ron,' Hermione sighed in frustration, 'Harry never told us everything, he told us the basic's, what we needed to know and that's all. He grew up very differently to us remember, he couldn't talk or voice his thoughts or even his opinions in that house. You saw the bruises, if he dared to say anything they would hit him, so he learned to stay quiet, learned to keep his feelings bottled up and stopped them showing. We had very different lives growing up, we had loving parents, family Ron, Harry had no one then all this on top of it. It's a wonder Harry hasn't lost it before now. Right now I don't believe he would, but I think he needs to talk to someone, not us, I'm talking about a someone that knows what they are doing, someone like a professional, someone that knows how to deal with depression.'

'There's no way Harry will talk to someone, he's wary of strangers, won't trust anyone except us, my family, Neville, Luna, McGonagall, maybe a few others. After Sirius died Harry kept pulling away from Dumbledore but he did from us as well. So how is anyone supposed to help, if you are right about this depression, Harry won't talk.'

'I don't know, I had one idea that's going to sound crazy. Apart from you and I, there is only one other person alive that Harry might trust. You saw the look Snape gave Harry in the shrieking shack, you heard what Harry explained, that he had been best friends with his mother. Right now Harry has no family, not after Sirius and Remus died. Believe it or not but Snape is the closest person to Harry because of that friendship with Lily Potter. Snape is also a type of person that does not care that Harry is some hero right now, so maybe it should be him that tries to get Harry to talk.'

'Okay, so Snape was friends with Harry's mum but he hated Harry so do you really think he would care about Harry's state of mind, I doubt it, he's a bastard.'

'Maybe, but the look in his eyes that day, the way he spoke to Harry. There's something there, I know it and maybe it's what Harry needs and one reason is he won't hold back, he will tell Harry what he thinks, what he believes Harry should hear.'

'Maybe, but I doubt he would do it or that Harry would willingly be alone with Snape let alone talk about what is troubling him. Anyway,' Ron sighed, 'we should get back to the Burrow, mum keeps saying we can't stay away for long and since Harry refuses to talk to us there's nothing we can do.'

'No, there isn't, but I know you Ronald, you're hungry, so fine let's go. We'll try talking to Harry in a few days, I'll bring up the subject of talking to someone, maybe even Snape.'

Severus waited until he heard their footsteps fade before he moved around the corner and thought about what Hermione and Ron had said. Would Harry listen to me just because Lily was my friend, would he see me as the closest person he has left, closest to his family. Severus wasn't sure about that but he did want to help the young man, before it was too late, now he just had to work out how.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter two

Over the next week Hermione and Ron had visited Harry at Hogwarts and received the same reception as before, Harry wouldn't speak, just nod or shake his head, sometimes he would shrug. Severus saw him hide behind the bushes again and saw the pain etched across the young man's face. During the week Severus would watch Harry without him realising he was being watch. One thing that stuck out to Severus, Harry seemed so lost, he would walk with his head lowered, he seemed to startle easily and would tear up at the slightest thing. It was like Harry had lost himself, lost his self-confidence, lost the part that would make him stand up against anyone. Severus used to believe it was arrogance, but it wasn't, it was confidence, which as of now, Harry had none. Another thing Severus noticed was the lines that had appeared on Harry's face, around his eyes, they were subtle but for a young man only seventeen years old, he had the start of wrinkles, his eyes also looked too old for his years, they told a story of suffering, that suffering seemed to go straight to Harry's very soul. He knew now what he had to do, he would try to get the young man to talk, he believed that would be an impossible task but he was willing to try. Severus would never admit this to anyone, but seeing the haunted look on young Harry Potter's face spoke to him, it pulled at his very heart and that did not sit well at all with Severus.

After working for a few hours on the castle, Severus stepped down onto the ground and over to the thick bushes near the black lake. He could hear Harry's cries before he saw him and he knew Harry would feel very embarrassed if anyone would see him like this. So Severus made a few noises with his feet to make sure Harry heard his approach, then gave him a few minutes to clean himself up and get his emotions under control.

'Harry,' Severus said softly as he walked closer.

Harry swallowed before looking up, 'Sir.'

'I think we can dispense with the formalities, right now you are no longer a student or a child, so you can call me Severus. May I sit?' again all Harry did was shrug so Severus sat on the grass beside him, 'I wanted to thank you, for speaking up about my role in regards to Albus' death.'

'They deserved to know the truth.'

'I'm glad they know now and that it is finally over. I can finally stop acting my part of a death eater. I believe that now it is all over that all of us can finally be ourselves, what do you say Harry?'

Harry shrugged again, 'Yeah, maybe, but why are you using my name?'

'Don't you want me to call you Harry?'

'It's just that you never have before.'

'All part of my role, making everyone believe I hated the boy who lived, but I never hated you. Yes, I do see your father, who as you now know was my childhood enemy, so I used your looks for my role.'

'You loved her.'

'Lily was a wonderful woman and a great friend. As you know she was my only friend during that time, a time where most boys are at a very vulnerable age. I allowed those Slytherin's to influence me into joining the ranks of the death eaters which in the end destroyed my friendship with your mother. The way you just said you loved her makes me think you believe I felt more for Lily than I actually did. Yes I loved her, as a friend, not in a romantic way Harry. Why I did not want your mother to end up with your father was for very selfish reasons. Imagine if I never hurt that friendship, how would your mother have handled the fact her best friend and the man she loved hated each other. It would have put Lily in a very awkward position, I did not want to do that to her. She deserved to find happiness and it just happened to be with my worst enemy. It would be like Hermione and Draco, if they became a couple it would have been difficult on you, Hermione would have felt terrible and would try to find a common ground. Sometimes that is not always possible, like in my situation. I wish to tell you something about your mother, something that only a few knew.'

'Okay.'

Severus sighed, 'I spoke with her a few days before she died. I was desperate to let her know how sorry I was that I relayed the first part of the prophecy to Riddle. She was already angry with me because of that day here when I called her…' Severus hesitated, 'You know what I called her.'

'Mudblood.'

'Yes, that term is something I do not like or believe. As far as I was concerned Lily was a witch and a very powerful witch as well. I spoke with Albus as you know, I asked him if he could get a message to Lily, he did, he thought I deserved to say my peace. So I sat in the cemetery not far from the house and waited. When an hour passed from the time I asked her to meet me, I believed she hated me, that she would not turn up to hear anything I had to say and I didn't blame her in the least. I was about to leave when she pulled an invisibility cloak off revealing that she had been standing beside me the whole time. I had spoken to myself, trying to find the right words to say, to let Lily know how sorry I was, that I was willing to try to do anything I could to rectify the situation, she heard it all without me realising it. She was a very clever woman, she found out what she needed without me realising it.'

'Did she forgive you?'

'Yes, but first she wanted a promise from me, a promise I have kept, as much as I could without revealing my true agenda of being Albus' spy. Would you like to know what she asked?'

Harry nodded, 'Yes.'

'That I would do everything in my power to keep you safe, even sacrifice myself if I had to in order to achieve that.'

'Like the broom.'

Severus' eyebrow furrowed then he nodded, 'Yes, first year when Quirrell tried to kill you but do you know that I saved you from some severe punishment from those muggles before you even entered this world.'

Harry glanced up looking confused, 'I'm not sure what you mean.'

'I would keep a watch over you at Privet drive, sometimes I would disillusion myself so I could be inside the house. One day you accidentally shattered a glass that you were not even touching. Your uncle grabbed your hair and I could tell by the look on his face and the way he reached for his belt what he planned to do. I waited until he took you to the garage then I used the Imperius curse on him to make him think he hit you when he didn't. Before I did that though I petrified both of you then delved into his mind to find out exactly what he planned to do. What I found out shocked and saddened me that I was tempted to use the cruciatus curse on him to let him feel what pain really is,' Severus saw Harry lowered his head again but he also looked scared, 'I would never reveal to anyone what took place in that house, you can trust that this will remain between us,' even though Severus could not see Harry's face he could tell by his body that this young man was about to lose it, so he decided now was not the time to hold back. He moved closer to Harry and put his arm around him then held him just as Harry broke down. He sobbed so hard that it made Severus choke up, then he was surprised when Harry turned his head and buried it into Severus' chest, so he put his other arm around Harry and just held him, held him tight trying to relay to Harry that he was there, he had someone he could count on, count on for anything, whether it was to talk, to just sit beside or even hold him when he needed a cry, Severus was going to be here for Harry, in every way.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter three

Severus felt Harry stiffen as his sobs subsided, 'I know you feel embarrassed right now, but you do not need to be. Everyone, even the saviour needs to release the pain your feeling,' Severus moved his arms from around Harry and let him sit up, 'That night, after you chased me, do you know what I did after I made sure Draco was safe,' Severus saw Harry shake his head very slightly, 'After my meeting with Riddle to explain that Albus was dead I went home and I cried, cried for Albus. Even though he was dying and would have been in a lot of pain over the coming weeks, I still cried for the loss of the only friend I've had since Lily. So you see, even someone like me, hard, cold, sadistic, greasy haired snarly Severus Snape can cry, when I need to, but like you, I do not let anyone know. We have both lost people we care about, we both had to put on a brave face, we both had Riddle controlling our lives. Right now Harry, I believe I am the only one that can know what you are feeling, I am also the only one that knows the truth about you, which will never pass my lips. Tell me though, why won't you talk to your friends?'

'They couldn't understand, it wasn't them that he wanted to kill, they didn't feel what I felt,' Harry sniffed, 'I saw things, things that will live with me for the rest of my life. I thought when I died I would be able to forget about everything I saw, but I lived.'

'Do you wish to die?'

Harry shrugged, 'I don't know, sometimes I do, but I don't want to hurt my friends anymore, they've gone through enough.'

'Don't you think it's time that you concentrate on what you want, you're friends have someone they can turn to, they have parents, some have siblings, they have people they can turn to. I have been concerned that everything you've been through will be too much for you so I've been keeping a close watch on you to see how you were and I knew you were not coping. There were days when I thought of giving up, but your mother's face always appeared before me. It was Lily that gave me the strength to go on, you need something or someone to help you, I am willing to be the one that you can come to whenever you need. Right now Harry you are seriously depressed and depression is just as bad as other major health issues, if it doesn't get treated it could kill you. Can you look at me Harry?'

Harry slowly lifted his head, 'I don't know what to do.'

'I will help, but do you realise your nose is bleeding?'

Harry shrugged, then wiped the blood onto his sleeve, 'It happens occasionally, he dropped me.'

'I heard the stories the death eaters were saying when they were taken away. But it's been a couple of weeks now, it shouldn't be bleeding any more. So before I tell you how I was able to deal with the fact I had to let people die to keep my secret as Albus' spy, let me take you to see Poppy.'

'Is this about guilt over my mother?'

'Partially, but it's not all about that. This might be hard for you to believe but you and I are very similar Harry. Our lives were never our own, we both lost our parents, you were younger than I, but I still lost them and I had no siblings, there is more but those few things are important. I have seen what you have gone through and I know your suffering. You won't talk to your friends and if I was honest, they could not help. You might think that I'm arrogant, but I can help, only if you let me.'

'You know the truth.'

'I do, so will you let me help you,' Severus again saw Harry shrug but then nod, 'Good, so first is a trip to see Poppy,' Severus stood up, took Harry's hand and pulled him to his feet before he could change his mind, 'Once we have seen her, then I wish to show you something.'

'Okay,' Harry kept his head lowered but followed Severus Snape into the castle and the rooms that had been turned into a hospital since those rooms had been destroyed.

'Poppy, Harry needs you to examine him, he keeps getting nose bleeds.'

'How often Mr. Potter?'

'Couple times a day.'

'When did it start?'

'He dropped me, three times, I landed on my nose once.'

'That is more than two weeks ago, you're also very pale, more than normal and you've lost weight. Alright, since I was not able to see you right after the fighting, I am going to give you a very thorough examination. So go behind those curtains, strip off and I mean all your clothes and wait for me,' Poppy noticed straight away that Harry didn't argue or looked shocked, he just kept his head down and went behind the curtain, 'That is not like him at all, I normally have to threaten him to make him stay still.'

'He's depressed Poppy, so I am going to help him.'

'Do you have experience with depression Severus?'

'No, but I am the only one alive that knows exactly what that young man has been through so I believe I could help, we also have something in common, something that is very precious to us. Another reason is that Harry does not trust strangers, but he does trust me.'

'Very well, but if you do require help let me know,' Poppy went behind the curtain to see Harry lying on the bed, naked but with his head turned to one side. She couldn't believe how lost Harry looked, how much older he seemed, his eyes show someone that has an old soul. She hid her surprise at seeing another lightning shaped scar on the young man's chest, but she never said anything just went about her examination, then took some blood to do a few more checks, 'You happen to have a few breaks Mr. Potter, one in your right foot and one in your right hand. Did you fall on them when he dropped you?'

'Yeah.'

'I'll get you a couple of potions, then I need to check your blood, but you can dress while I'm gone,' Poppy hurried to her office Severus still standing where he had been with his arms folded. She took two vials from her cabinet, one with red potion in it, the other with purple, then a vial with yellow liquid and an empty vial before heading back to Harry, but when she saw he was dressed, she moved the curtains aside, handed Harry the two potions which he drank without arguing, 'Now are you feeling sick at all, headaches, anything at all Harry?'

'I get sick all the time, and I have headaches, it never wants to go away.'

'Then you should have come to me sooner, even if it was just for a headache potion,' Poppy saw Severus move closer and his eyes were on Harry's downcast head, then Poppy took some of Harry's blood, then dropped some in the empty vial, then some of the yellow liquid, she moved her wand over the vial, her eyebrows furrowed, 'Stay still,' she moved her wand over Harry's head and neck, 'Oh my.'

'Poppy, what is it?' Severus asked but he noticed Harry's head was still down.

'Harry, do I have permission to tell Severus what I have found?' Poppy and Severus saw him nod, 'Apart from breaks in his right hand and right food, he has a tumour, that is what's causing the nose bleeds and headaches. I will need to do a few more tests to determine if the tumour is malignant or benign, then try and find out exactly where it is and how to treat it.'

'Check around his scar on his forehead.'

'That is a very unusual request, do you know why he would have a tumour there, if it is there?'

Severus knelt down so he could see Harry's face, 'Poppy might need to know Harry, so she can understand, I won't tell her unless you want me to,' Severus saw Harry's face screw up in pain again, he put his finger under Harry's chin and lifted, 'She can never tell anyone, it's part of her oath.'

'Okay,' Harry's voice was so quiet then he moved until he was curled up in a tight ball.

'Everyone believes that the scar was caused by the killing curse, the killing curse was used but it is not the reason behind the scar,' Severus glanced down at Harry, 'It was caused by a piece of Voldemort's soul entering Harry that night in Godric's Hollow. I'm sure you saw another lightning shaped scar somewhere on his body, that is where the soul was destroyed when Voldemort used the killing curse on Harry the night of the fighting.'

Poppy sighed, 'Apart from being the only person to survive the killing curse, which no healer has been able to work out how or why, a piece of soul or horcrux is not widely known. There is not a lot of information in regards to this. If this soul is the reason for the tumour then why it is only now showing symptoms after it is gone?'

'I believe the soul kept the tumour from growing or it only started to grow once the soul was destroyed, it might be the reason behind the tumour?'

'Yes, it would be have to be one of those but until I finish doing a few more checks I can't say.'

'Don't tell anyone, just let me die,' Harry murmured shocking Poppy and making Severus sigh but both were not going to let Harry die, not if they could help it.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter four

Poppy left Harry lying on his side, she just did a few diagnostic spells around his scar, then nodded to Severus.

'Let me talk to him, does he need to stay here?'

'I would prefer if he would but until I do some research which could take a while there would be no use, so no. I will let you both know when to return and I hope I have found out exactly how to treat this.'

Severus moved around the side of the bed so he could see Harry's face, 'I would like to show you something while Poppy does her research. Will you come with me?'

'Okay,' Harry slowly got up and stood again with his head down.

'If he's nose keeps bleeding, just tilt his head back and keep a cold cloth pressed to the top of his nose.'

'Thank you Poppy,' Severus took Harry's arm and they left the hospital, heading down to his private rooms. He sat Harry down then went into his bathroom and wet a cloth, he knelt in front of Harry then cleaned all the blood away, 'Look up for a minute,' Harry did but his eyes seemed so dead, that's how Severus thought they looked, 'See that?' Severus pointed.

Harry turned his head, 'A piano.'

'Yes, I play, your mother taught me how to play. She had a lot of lessons when she was young, she told me that when her and that sister of hers would fight playing used to help. She had a few instances where her magic would just explode from her and she was worried if she got angry enough at Petunia that she could hurt her. So she would sit at her piano and play until she was calm. She suggested it to me not long after we met. She took me home, introduced me to her parents, then sat me down at the piano and started to teach me. The next time I saw Lily she apologised because she had to say something to her parents, so she told them about how my home life was. From then on they welcomed me into their home, they used to feed me while I was there, they thought I was too skinny. Every day I would sit with Lily and she would teach me how to play. For five years, every day during the holidays we would play. During my years as a death eater the only thing that kept me alive was playing because it was your mother that took so much time in teaching me, so it would make me think of those happier days with Lily.'

'I've never had happy days, so let the tumour kill me.'

'No, Poppy and I will do everything we have to so you can live and have some happy days. But there is something else I wish to tell you, first though, let me teach you how to play. When you're having one of your really bad days you can come down here and play. Try to imagine that you can see your mother playing, smiling and laughing, sometimes she would sing.'

'Could she sing?'

'She would never make a professional singer but she could hold a tune.'

'You don't have to save me again for her, you did that.'

'It is not just for Lily why I wish to save you, that is the other thing I wished to tell you. First though, would you like a cup of tea?'

'Something stronger.'

'Stronger, as in alcohol?' he saw Harry nod, 'I have brandy,' Harry nodded again so Severus poured them both a small glass, 'Have you had brandy before?' Harry shook his head, 'Then small sips even though you really shouldn't have any alcohol with those potions,' Severus handed Harry a glass and sat beside him, they both took small sips, but Severus was surprised when Harry didn't pull a face or cough as the strong liquid burned down his throat, 'Have you been drinking alcohol?'

'Firewhiskey, I leave it in Hagrid's hut.'

'That might need to stop depending on what Poppy has to say. Now to what I was saying, will you let me teach you, I believe it would help?'

Harry shrugged, 'Was she good?'

'She was excellent, she made a very good teacher even for how young she was when she started teaching me. We were ten years old, she would make me practice for a couple of hours, then we would have a snack and a drink before heading back to the park. She preferred to talk about magic away from her family, she said she didn't want to make them feel uncomfortable.'

'She asked you about the dementors?'

'She did, but Lily was a very curious person, she would ask me endless questions. We would lie under that big tree or near that pond and I would tell her everything I knew. Naturally we couldn't do magic but sometimes Lily would sneak a bit every now and then. Lily loved being a witch and she hated being restricted when we were home for the holidays.'

'Did she get in trouble?'

'No, the ministry do understand that sometimes children just can't help themselves, but they do check which spell was used, normally it's harmless that's why they let it go. They might send a letter reminding us not to show the muggles our magic.'

'You said you want to tell me something, was it about my mother?'

'When your mother found out I was gay she would constantly be on me about seeing someone, at the time I was not interested. I had a few relationships over the years, but when you're a death eater your life belongs to him, so I never really had time to do more than the odd date. It was a few years ago that I became attracted to someone, someone I didn't expect, that shocked the life out of me. It was someone I never thought would give me the time of day, someone I believe didn't even know he was gay, someone you're mother told me I would meet but refuse to believe it at first. Maybe you have not worked that out, but that person is you. So even if you might not think of me in that way, that is why I want to save you. How can I let the person that means the world to me die? I'm sure you wouldn't do that just like most people wouldn't.'

'I've always known I was gay, since I was about eleven.'

'Then why did you date two girls?'

'I didn't think my friends would like it, they were all I had, they kept me sane, kept me from,' Harry shrugged.

'From taking your own life,' Severus saw Harry shrug again, 'Being in that house, knowing you had Lord Voldemort after you, his death eaters as well. The lies, the stories, the stares, the speculation, all that could push anyone to think their life is not worth living. Do you know that I have never spoken this much in my life, I'm normally a very reserved and quiet man.'

'Like me.'

'Yes, like you, another thing we have in common. We are not big talkers and keep our feelings hidden. All these reasons are why I believe I would be the best to help you, our love for your mother, everything we have in common, that only you and I know the full truth about your life and of course my feelings for you. So will you please stop this talk of dying, for all we know Poppy can help with the tumour and I can help with everything else?'

'I always thought you had a nice voice.'

'I've been told my voice is sinister sounding.'

'Sometimes, not all the time,' Harry took another sip of his brandy then looked over at the piano, 'Would you play something?'

Severus stood, held out his hand to Harry who took it and they sat beside each other on the piano, then Severus started to play.

'That was nice.'

'That was Lily's favourite.'

'Your fingers move so gracefully over the keys,' Harry kept staring down at Severus' hands resting on the keys.

'What are you thinking about?' Severus saw Harry shrug but his eyes never moved, 'Tell me.'

'I just wondered what those fingers would feel like.'

Severus turned slightly then lifted Harry's head, ran one finger lightly down Harry's cheek then across his lips, down his chin then his neck.

'How do they feel?'

'Nice, soft, made me tingle,' Harry slowly lifted his eyes to stare into Severus' eyes, 'Turned me on.'

'Even if you wish to see me in that way, there will be no sex, not until we've had time to talk and depending on what Poppy has to say.'

'I don't want to die a virgin.'

'Do you really believe that Poppy and I would not do everything we can to stop you dying? All I'm asking is some time, give her the chance to do what she does best and give me the chance to show you how good this life can be. Then we will talk about going further than this,' Severus closed the distance and brushed his lips over Harry's. 'Do what you can to live and I will make you feel so alive that you will not believe it is possible.' Severus smiled when Harry nodded so he kissed Harry again, not a big kiss, just another small chaste kiss. Then Severus started to show Harry the chords, it was the first time that Severus thought that Harry might finally have something to hold onto, him and the memory of his mother.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter five

As Harry and Severus sat at the piano a patronus dog appeared, 'Could you both come back to the hospital straight away,' it said in Poppy Pomfrey's voice.

'Let's go see what she has to say.'

'With my life, it can't be cured,' Harry shrugged again.

'Maybe that is so Harry, I hope it isn't, but if it is then I want to give you some good times while you can. So how about it, let's see what is going on then we can talk more, play more even kiss more if you wish.'

Harry nodded, 'Okay.'

'I really wish you would say more, but it's fine, you'll talk when you want to. Now come on,' Severus took Harry's hand and never released it, just walked to the hospital wing together still holding hands, 'Poppy.'

'Come sit down,' Poppy pointed to the bed Harry had been on before, then waited until Harry and Severus sat. 'It's malignant, but there is a chance if it's treated, I won't know anything until you start the treatment. The thing is Harry,' Poppy sighed then sat on the chair, 'We could stop this killing you but it might mean that it will always be there, you will get symptoms occasionally where you'll need the treatment again, that could go on forever. The best prognosis is that the treatment will completely destroy the tumour. In some cases it has happened, in others the treatment needs to continue throughout the person's life and sorry to say some people died.'

'What's the treatment Poppy?'

'Potions twice a day, certain charms at the same time, they take from an hour to an hour and a half each time, that will go on for at least a month, maybe more. I think the best solution would be St Mungo's.'

'No, either here or not at all, I'll rather die here.'

'Can you treat it Poppy?'

'I could but Minerva would need to be notified of exactly what I am doing. If she believes that it could disrupt the students when they return or I cannot do my duty when the students are here then she might insist that Harry is made to leave and go to St Mungo's.'

'What if I return to do my last year?'

'Then she would probably allow you have your treatment here, but either way she would need to know in case I have to concentrate on you which could mean bringing in a medi-witch from St Mungo's. She is the headmistress, she needs to know what is going on in this school and like me she is bound by oath to never repeat it.'

Severus looked at Harry's lowered head, 'You can trust Minerva.'

'I know, I trust all three of you, is it worth it though?'

'You're life is worth it Harry. I asked that you give this a chance so you either beat it or I give you some good memories, some happy times that you can take with you,' Severus moved closer and whispered, 'We could even have sex if you wish, take those memories with you.'

'Okay,' Harry shrugged but his lips turned up just slightly but it was enough to see a very small smile.

'Whatever you said seemed to make the difference and I do not want to know what that is even if I can guess. Alright, I will need to make the potions which will take two days before they will be ready. So I think we should inform Minerva before we start anything.'

Harry nodded, Severus cast his patronus with Harry watching it until it disappeared, 'For my mother.'

'Yes, your mother's patronus was a doe, hers was for your father though, mate to his stag. But think of it this way Harry, my doe patronus is a mate to your stag patronus, just like we are.'

Harry slowly lifted his eyes, 'Together.'

'Yes, together, forever if I have my way, so you will do whatever you can to live, got me Mr. Potter.'

'Bossy,' Harry gave another small smile, 'How can I hide this from everyone else?'

'I had a thought if Poppy will agree. You know she cannot tell anyone about her patients but if your friends are persistent enough then maybe we could just say it to do with the killing curse. They know about that, we all do, the death eaters kept shouting it as they were taken away.'

'What did they say?'

'They said Potter can't die, the dark lord used the killing curse, but Potter lived again. Others rambled something about being immortal, some said that you're immune to all magic since you were alive yet you never felt the cruciatus curse.'

'I felt it, I was just able to stay quiet, I had to.'

'Severus, Poppy, Potter, is something going on that I should know about?'

Poppy and Severus looked at Harry who nodded and shrugged at the same time, 'I believe he said we can explain, so I'll let you do that Poppy.'

'Severus brought Harry to me because he kept getting nose bleeds. He was very pale, I can tell he has lost weight and when I examined him I found a problem,' Poppy stared back at Harry's lowered head, 'Harry has a tumour, behind his scar, he will need specialised treatment that I can give him, it should take about a month.'

'Wouldn't it be better for him to go to St Mungo's?'

'Harry said he'll rather die here than go there. So this is your call Minerva, Harry is suffering right now, not just from the tumour but he's also severely depressed. He has agreed to let me help with his depression and for Poppy to treat him. Please take him seriously Minerva, if Harry can't stay he will die and not from the tumour,' Severus started intensely at Minerva and gave at small nod.

Minerva knelt down in front of Harry since he refused to lift his head, 'I'm sorry this is happening to you Harry, especially after all you've gone through. Albus filled me in on everything, but like Albus it will never be repeated. Do you know why he told me?' Harry shook his head, 'He thought you might need someone older to speak with, like how you used to speak with him. But if you are happy to speak with Severus, that is your choice.'

'I do, but it's not that reason,' Harry looked up at Severus.

Severus picked up Harry's hand and kissed it, 'We're together.'

'Then maybe love is what will help. So this treatment will cure Harry Poppy?'

'Maybe, I won't know until he's had the treatment, but he also could live with it occasionally causing problems even if I can keep it from killing him. Harry wishes to return and do his last year, if he gets any symptoms then I can start treating him again.'

'Do your friends know Harry?' he shook his head, 'You do not want anyone to know, do you?' again Harry shook his head, 'Then it remains between the four of us and Poppy has permission to treat you.'

'Thanks, Hogwarts is the only home I know, I live or die here,' Harry shook his head then turned his head into Severus' chest, 'Maybe it's better to die.'

'No, you promised me you will try, do not do this to me Harry, not now,' Severus took Harry's face in his hands, 'Don't, please don't,' Severus could see the pain etched over Harry's face then he slowly nodded, 'You'll fight this?'

'If you do what you promised and soon.'

'Oh, you call me bossy now you're making demands.'

'No, if this doesn't work I don't want to die a virgin.'

'So you're using me to rectify that situation?'

'Prat.'

'I'm sure Poppy is of the same opinion as me, we do not want to hear this conversation. Okay, first Mr. Potter.'

'Oh, she's using her teachers voice, I'm in trouble.'

'You will be in you keep going Harry,' Severus wrapped his arms around Harry, 'Now listen to what she has to say.'

'Sorry professor.'

'It's fine, but now, if you return as a student you do realise you will have to treat Severus as a teacher?'

Severus saw Harry nod but he also lowered his head again, 'Is there any leeway to that Minerva?'

'After classes you can be together, but just like with any students that are in relationships, you do not take it too far especially in front of the younger students.'

'We won't,' Harry said softly.

'You might be able to answer a question Minerva. We are not sure when this tumour started, whether he had it all his life or it if is recent due to what we all know. You spent time with the Potters during the order of the phoenix meetings, was Harry ever ill as a child, nose bleeds, excessive crying, anything?'

Minerva saw Harry lift his head to stare at her, 'No, he was a very happy child, if memory serves I think I only heard him cry twice, once when he fell off his small broom and landed on his backside,' Poppy, Severus and Minerva saw Harry blush which made them snigger, 'The other was when he was walking around, he wasn't watching where he was going, walked into the wall.'

'Then it seems this tumour started from that night but the soul kept it from progressing or showing any symptoms. I believe by what my tests show and observing Harry over the years that he has always had it, since that night. He has always been on the small side, he was also very pale. You're Information will help with my treatment, thank you Minerva. I will go start making those potions. Harry, before you leave I should explain something that you probably won't like, but it is necessary,' Poppy said kindly but again all she did was see pain on the young man's face.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter six

'This treatment will make you sick to begin with, you will be very weak and there is a chance that you will lose all your hair. It will grow back after the treatment, but not until then.'

'It'll remind me of him.'

'Do you remember what you are Mr. Potter?' Minerva asked.

'I don't know what you mean professor.'

'A wizard who if had the right spell to use could make everyone believe you had hair, even yourself.'

Harry looked up at Severus, 'Can you show me?'

'I can show you, the glamour charm is not a difficult spell.'

'Then I suggest you go rest Harry because in two days' time you will be spending two hours twice a day for a month right here in this bed.'

'Then let's go spend some time together,' Severus stood and put his arm around Harry leading him out of the hospital.

'His friends will realise something is wrong,' Minerva said sadly.

'They are going to explain that his sick due to the killing curse. As Harry is the only person to survive that curse, no one will be able to find out differently.'

'What is your opinion on if this can be cured?'

'It's large which normally it can't, but I cannot give up, that boy has never had a good life, he deserves everything I can do to help him achieve that, if possible.'

'Do what you can Poppy, if you need assistance during the year I will get someone to help. I happen to agree with you, Harry deserves a life now Voldemort is dead.'

'Did you ever suspect Severus cared for Harry?'

'Albus did, he never said much more than that.' Minerva left the hospital wing with thoughts of Harry Potter and if anything could save him and to her it seemed that no matter what Harry, is supposed to die. As a child he should have died due to the killing curse, then again the night he defeated Voldemort and now he might be facing his biggest fight, the biggest in his life.

Severus and Harry kept holding hands until they were outside on the grounds, they headed for the large beech tree where Severus conjured a blanket then sat against the tree and pulled Harry to him so he was sitting on his lap.

'Do you think it will work?'

'To be honest, I don't know.'

'Can you make the potion better, like your others?'

'It crossed my mind, I don't know. But it sounds like you want to live.'

'To have a chance with you, I do. Could you try?'

'I could try, I will get a sample from Poppy after she makes it.'

'I don't want to spend a month in there.'

'You won't be in there the whole time.'

'It'll feel like it.'

'Yes, it probably will.'

'Can we have sex?'

Severus stared down at Harry who had his head against his chest, 'Shouldn't we wait?'

'If we wait it might be too late.'

'You have to think positive Harry and right now you're not. I don't want to give myself to you like that if you're going to leave me by not fighting. I don't get it, all your life you have been a fighter, now you've given up.'

'I'm too tired to fight, but every time I do fight I almost die and it's only luck that I haven't. This tumour will probably kill me, this treatment is just going to delay the inevitable.'

'Fight for me, please.'

Harry slowly lifted his head, 'You sound like you care.'

'I do but do you know I think I loved you before I even met you. Your mother used to say the right man would present himself to me at the right time, that I will deny it at first, but something will get through my thick skull that he is the one, you are the one Harry. So for years now I have been hoping that your mother was right I just couldn't believe it meant you. Please, fight, I don't know what to say to make you fight, I don't want to lose you, not now that I've finally stopped denying my feelings for you.'

'I'll fight, for you.'

'I think I actually believe you.'

'You can.'

'Then why won't you let your friends know? Even though you are going to fight to live, Poppy and I will do everything as well, but if it doesn't work why not give them time with you before it's too late.'

'No, I used to see pity on their faces just because I was the chosen one, if they knew I was dying,' Harry shook his head then put his head back against Severus' chest and the two men held each other with thoughts that they were together, finally, but will they have a long life together or will it be over before it can really begin. Neither Harry nor Severus knew they had been overheard, someone that had tears falling down her face.

After dinner that night Severus and Harry walked hand in hand back down to Severus' rooms, but they never stopped in the living area, they went straight into the bathroom where Severus filled a large bathtub with water, he stripped Harry off then his own clothes and they sat at each end of the bath.

'This is nice.'

'It is but I figured it might make you relax a bit.'

'I am relaxed. Can I ask you something?'

'Anything,' Severus said then picked up one of Harry's feet and started to wash it which brought a small smile to Harry's face.

'Would I be allowed to stay here with you, when the students return?'

'I'm not sure on the rules Harry, I would need to ask Minerva. This will be your last year as a student, don't you want to sleep in your dorm room with your friends?'

Harry shook his head, 'I want to sleep with you.'

'Then I'll ask, she might say no though. But I know you Harry, it won't stop you, not with your cloak and that blasted map.'

'Who told you it was a map?'

'I knew it was, I just couldn't activate the damn thing.'

'I solemnly swear that I am up to no good,' Harry shrugged, 'When Remus found out I had my father's map he explained why they invented it. Sirius and Remus chipped in a bit but it was mainly my father.'

'Who gave you the map?'

'Fred and George Weasley, they felt sorry for me because I was the only third year stuck in the castle and couldn't go to Hogsmeade. I only snuck out a couple of times, then I used it for the triwizard tournament, the DA and that night.'

'Filch told me that he found a champions egg, but the imposter Moody made Filch give it to him.'

'I was there, stuck in that blasted step. I had been in the prefects bathroom working on the egg clue.'

'Who told you that you had to open it under water, Crouch?'

'No, Moaning Myrtle, but it was Cedric Diggory that told me to take a bath and use the prefects bathroom, I told him about the dragons, so he helped me out, then we helped each other in the maze, I ended up getting him killed.'

'It was a tragedy Harry, but you did not kill him. I've seen this with you over the years, you blame yourself when you don't need to. It could have been anyone that died, anyone that touched that cup.'

'When you and Karkaroff were talking that day, did you know?'

'I knew my mark was becoming darker and it had started to tingle. Albus and I believed he was getting stronger but we had no idea how or if he would return fully. You told Albus that he summoned his death eaters, they turned up, I didn't, do you know why?'

'Probably something to do with acting your role.'

'Albus, Voldemort wanted me here to spy on Albus where he knew I was there to keep a watch over you. It was two hours later that I went to him, I explained why I never turned up straight away, that Albus would have been suspicious if I left straight away. So even though he believed me I was still punished, but that's the way he was. He had to be in control over everything. The plans he had for this world would have made so many suffer. Tell me though, the times you faced him were you scared?'

Harry shook his head, 'No, usually there was no time, the graveyard was different, I had to watch as he returned without being able to do anything, so there was fear that night, but I can't really say how scared I was because I was in too much pain. Sev, I know this just happened with us and I'm not really in the best place right now, but ever since you told me how you feel it's starting to make me believe I can finally be like everyone else. If I survive this tumour will you be okay showing we're together?'

'You do not need to worry about that Harry. The moment classes are finished for the day my arms will be holding you. Naturally I have to sit at the staff table for meals but we can have the odd meal in here. Now though my soon to be lover, lie back close your eyes and relax because very soon you are going to be exhausted.'

Harry smiled, 'I like the sound of that,' Harry leant forward, kissed Severus before he did close his eyes but his thoughts stayed on when they got into bed, when they had sex so his mind kept conjuring up images which made his body react and an involuntary groan escaped him.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter seven

Severus and Harry stepped into the hospital wing to see Minerva and Poppy talking quietly beside a bed, Harry noticed three vials of yellowish potion on the side cabinet.

'I'm glad to see you're early, so take your shoes off and get comfortable.'

Harry looked at Severus, 'I'm scared.'

'I know you are, because normally you are very good at hiding it, this time it's showing. Now come,' Severus sat Harry down then removed his shoes moved to the other side of the bed, took Harry's hand in his again as he sat down, 'I'll be right here with you.'

'Okay,' Harry turned his head to stare at the matron and McGonagall, 'Please don't,' he whispered seeing the sorrow on their faces.

'I think that is impossible Harry,' Minerva said softly.

'Yes, impossible,' Poppy picked up the first vial, 'Drink that, I will do the first lot of charms, you cannot move Harry.'

Harry nodded turned to Severus once more, they kissed before Harry drank the potion then closed his eyes. He couldn't look at their faces, it made him feel like he was going to cry again and he had cried so much since Voldemort died.

Minerva and Severus never spoke but their eyes never left Harry's face. Severus was sitting on the other side of the bed, Minerva at the end, Poppy stood over Harry performing her charms over Harry's scar. For an hour and a half there wasn't a sound to be heard, Severus and Minerva were like statues, Poppy never stopped until all three vials had been drank and her charms done.

'Alright Harry, you can move now.' Poppy said wearily.

Harry slowly opened his eyes, 'I didn't feel anything.'

'You won't, but the symptoms might start at any time. So you need to come back right after dinner and we will continue.'

'You look tired,' Harry said softly, 'It's too much for you.'

'No, it's not and this is something I want to do. If I get too tired I will have a pepper up potion. Now sit up but do it slowly.'

Harry smiled as Severus put his arms under his back and helped him sit, 'Dizzy.'

'That is quite normal and not a symptom, you've been lying in one spot for a while.'

Severus moved around the bed and put Harry's shoes back on, 'Why don't you two go outside for a while, it's a beautiful day,' Minerva said.

'What could happen Poppy?' Severus asked as he helped Harry to his feet.

'Nausea is the main one, he might even get sick, he might have headaches and nose bleeds, it's too hard to say, everyone is different. One thing Harry, during this time normally you would be confined to this bed and that is mainly so you can be watched. I am only allowing you out because Severus is with you. If for any reason Severus can't stay with you then you must stay with someone, either Minerva or myself, which means here.'

'Apart from using the bathroom Poppy I will be beside Harry at all times.'

'Alright then, go rest.'

Harry nodded then slipped his arm around Severus' waist as the older man did the same, they left the hospital and headed outside, again down to the large beech tree. The chose that spot as they could see if anyone came onto the grounds which would give Harry time to make it look like he was fine.

The next two days of treatment we the same, but Harry was starting to feel nauseated which made it hard to eat, he also noticed hair on the pillow whenever he sat up. He grabbed an old shirt that had a hole it in and transfigured it into a beanie then Severus cast a spell which made snitches appear all over the beanie fluttering their wings which made Harry give a small snigger when Severus conjured a mirror so he could see. On the fourth day after the treatment Severus was sitting under the beech tree, Harry was lying with his head in Severus' lap, Hermione appeared and walked over to them.

'Hello professor, hi Harry.'

'Hermione, hey, Ron not with you?'

'Mrs. Weasley is a little protective at the moment, which they all understand. I thought I'd come see you and Mrs. Weasley wanted to find out how you are.'

'Fine, Sev's helping,' Harry saw Severus nod, 'Um, we're together, are you okay with that?'

'Yes, why wouldn't I be, not sure what Ron will say, that is mainly because of his sister. Can I sit?'

'If course Miss Granger.'

'It's been nearly a year, surely she realises that we're not going to be together, especially now I realised I'm gay. You know Hermione, I wasn't that surprised.'

'I'm not surprised, do you know why?'

'You knew or guessed?' Severus asked.

'I knew, not with certainty, but Harry's eyes used to wander a lot, always over the boys, never the girls, he tried to hide it, but he never could with me. But his eyes used to wander quite often and especially towards Draco Malfoy. So many girls used to watch him and I admit even though he's a git he is very nice looking.'

'He's like Sev, moves so gracefully, I think that's why I watched him. I'm anything but graceful, fall out of floo's, stagger after apparition, awkward, that's what I am.'

'True,' Hermione smirked making Harry and Severus chuckle, 'I'm heading to Australia next week, Ron is coming with me, Mrs. Weasley wasn't going to let him but Mr. Weasley stepped in. Kingsley gave me a letter so I'll be able to get an international port key, but if they want to return home we'll have to come by plane, Ron's not that keen on it since it's going to be a very long flight. I think part of that is because he'll be stuck with my parents, especially my father.'

'So he is concerned that he will be questioned about your relationship?' Severus asked.

'Yes, he's heard me say that my father and I are very close, being an only child and a girl he is also very protective. Ron sort of understands that because the Weasley boys are all protective of Ginny, being the only girl. I will say this Harry, at least your talking, not like the last time I saw you.'

'Sev's helping, depressed,' Harry shrugged even though his head was still on Severus' lap.

'He's doing a good job, first you're talking and you smiled. How are the repairs coming professor?'

'There getting there Miss Granger, Minerva believes that enough of the castle will be repaired to allow students back on the first of September. Harry has decided to return, will you and Mr. Weasley?'

'I am, Ron is still thinking about it. He still wants to be an auror so he said he probably will. Do you still want to be an auror Harry?'

Harry shook his head, 'No, I think that's part of my depression, I don't want to fight anymore. I'm not sure what I'll do though, I never thought of anything else.'

'You have a year to figure it out, Minerva keeps all the information in regards to work in her office, I'm sure she'll let you go over those pamphlets.'

'I'll ask her soon.'

'Have you seen anyone else?' Hermione asked as she kept her eyes on Harry and even though she can tell he was acting like he was fine, she could see he was sick, he was pale and had circles under his eyes, the other thing she knew that he was trying to hide his condition, he has a beanie on and Harry had told her once that he hated hats, all types of hate. If she mentioned that she knew Harry would say he wasn't sick, but she knew the truth, Harry would never know that, not until he told her.

'No, but I spend my time with Sev so I don't take any notice. So are you nervous about your parents?'

'A little, as I said, dad is protective of me, yet I sent him and mum away to protect them. I'm not sure how he will take that. Oh I have to tell you this, the ghoul, he didn't want to leave Ron's room, it took a few days for Mr. Weasley to coax him back to the attic. Ron refused to step in there until Mrs. Weasley gave the whole room a thorough cleaning, then she made a rose potion, sprinkled it everywhere to remove the smell,' Hermione shuddered which made Harry chuckle softly.

'So when the death eaters turned up at the burrow to see if Mr. Ronald Weasley was there, it was a ghoul. I have no idea why that would fool them,' Severus said.

'Mr. Weasley made it look like it had spattergroit which is contagious so they never got too close, they just saw the red hair and a lot of pustules.' Harry explained.

'Ah, now I see, yes, I think that would stop anyone getting close. Tell me Miss Granger, how do you think Harry's other friends will handle our news?'

'Some are like me, they won't care, but you can never please everyone. I think Seamus and Dean will be a bit like Ron and I believe it's mainly down to the fact that we don't see a lot of same sex couples, Dean will mainly be upset that he lost Ginny to Harry now Harry's gay.'

'I'm sure we will find out soon enough.'

'Yeah, they will Sev, but I'm not worried, I like being with you,' Harry smiled up at Severus who smiled down at Harry, Hermione sat and watched her friend and the way he interacted with Snape. She knew one thing, Snape was good for Harry, she hoped it was enough to get Harry through his latest problem.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter eight

Five weeks of treatment and Harry was still feeling sick and he had lost all his hair. Severus had shown Harry how to do the glamour for when he didn't want to wear a hat, like when the students returned. Finally Harry started to feel better and he was getting stronger, which they hoped meant good news, that the tumour had shrunk or it had disappeared which meant Harry was cured. During those times Severus would teach Harry some more on the piano, it would keep his mind off his condition.

Harry and Severus stepped into the hospital wing to see Minerva and Poppy talking quietly but Harry could tell just from the looks on their faces that it wasn't good news.

'It didn't work did it?' Harry asked softly.

'It's stopped growing, which is good news Harry, but it is still there. It seems Severus' changes to the potion worked well enough to stop it growing.'

'Does that mean it could start again?'

'There is always a chance of that happening. First signs of anything you come see me, but I have hope that it will stay as it is.'

'Thanks Madame Pomfrey, now you might be able to rest.'

'I do rest, you just don't see it. Now Minerva has some news.'

'I spoke with Kingsley, discretely, I thought if we could get some information on the snake that might help with you. The thing is Harry, Kingsley worked it out. You have to remember, he heard what had been said at Grimmauld place, he knew you saw Arthur Weasley get attacked. He started to get suspicious when you thought Sirius was in danger. He said that it concerns no on so it will never be written down by him.'

'I used trust Kingsley but he is minister, I've had to bad experiences with ministers, so I wasn't sure I could trust him now.'

'Well, you can trust him again. Now he did a bit of research for us and found the snake had a tumour, they found a scar, but it was different to yours so they never made the connection, the snake's tumour wasn't as big as yours since it was only turned into a horcrux three or four years ago. So as Poppy already suspected it was the soul entering you that gave you the tumour.'

'You're sure they won't figure it out, about Harry and how he survived the killing curse as a child?' Severus asked.

'No, since the snake died they aren't that concerned, they just did a few experiments to see if their accounts of his missing souls added up. They do know or they believe that one piece is unaccounted for but as Albus is dead and no one has seen you they realise they will probably never get that information, they also know that you were sworn to secrecy by Albus and Harry Potter is known for keeping his promises, especially to Albus who was your mentor.'

'Okay, I just don't want anyone to figure it out. Most people know I avoid reporters or any questions about Voldemort, so if they ask me they won't get an answer.'

'No, they won't, now as to your request. At first I thought it might not look right, having a student living with a teacher. But I went over the rules regarding relationships a teacher can have while he is employed by Hogwarts. If the student is of age and does not accept or ask for assistant from the teacher than it is allowed. A long time ago it was only allowed if they were married, those laws changed when Albus became headmaster. Even though that was a very long time ago, he realised that not all people believed in marriage, just like he didn't even though he had a long standing relationship. So yes, you can move into Severus' quarters. Just remember, he is to give you no help outside the classroom and you both know how to conduct yourselves during school hours, as teacher and student.'

'We will Minerva, thank you. So how about it Harry, we go pack your stuff?'

Harry chuckled, 'Why when it's already in your room Sev.'

'I didn't hear that, Poppy I will talk to you later,' Minerva stepped closer to Harry, 'I'm glad your well Harry, you deserve a life.'

'Thanks professor, it's because of Sev that I want to live, he gave me something that made me fight, something I've never had,' Harry stared up at Severus, 'His love.'

'Love is truly powerful, just as Albus always said,' Minerva surprised all of them when she hugged Harry before hurrying from the hospital.

'Thanks again Madame Pomfrey. But I'll let you know if any type of symptoms return, I just hope they don't.'

'So do I, and just as Minerva said, you deserve a life now, so why don't you go start living.'

'A very good idea Poppy, how about it Harry,' Severus smiled and was pleased he got a big smile back from Harry.

Over the next couple of weeks, a few of Harry's friends turned up just to check on how the repairs were going, they would sit with Harry, but some looked a little uncomfortable because Harry always held Snape's hand, sometimes he would lie with his head in Snape's lap. Neville just smiled and talked like normal, Luna was the same, the Patil twins showed their surprised but otherwise they seemed fine just like Hannah and Susan, it was the boys that showed they did not like seeing two men together, but as it was legal in the magical world so they knew nothing degrading or derogatory could be said. It wasn't long before word had leaked to the public that their hero was gay and in a relationship with Severus Snape, the former death eater. Harry and Severus didn't care, their love for each other was growing, they had each other and that's all they cared about, each other.

Hermione had dropped by a few days after returning to England with her parents, she explained that Ron was shown the huge headline, Harry Potter gay, sleeping with a former death eater, Severus Snape, no comment from either of them. So as of right now Ron just keeps going off about how Harry used to sleep in his room, he kept saying that for all he knew Harry had looked at him when they changed for bed. Hermione yelled so many times at Ron until they stopped talking and Hermione would only resume her relationship with Ron when he stopped being an idiot. Harry tried to get Hermione to just let it go that it didn't concern him or Severus, but Hermione was almost as stubborn as Harry was.

'Alright, in two days' time the students return. We all know it will be hard on some, if you believe any student is suffering because of the events that took place before or during the battle please let me know straight away. Harry, even though you are not a member of staff you will see things we might miss, let any of us know if you get a suspicion at all about any student that might be having a hard time?'

'I will professor, actually, I have a feeling Ron and Ginny might be some of those, Ron more than Ginny though. We saw Fred die, Ron wanted to kill death eaters, he had a hard time trying to pull it together, where Ginny didn't see it even though she lost a brother. Dennis is another one, he snuck back just after Colin died.'

'Yes, that is why I want you to keep an eye on them, they won't think much of it if you are seen watching them occasionally.'

'Unless they think I'm checking them out, exactly like what Ron said to Hermione. How he could believe that when I've got Sev, and to me he's perfect in every way.'

'Thank you my love, but not something that should be discussed with the other staff.'

'I believe we are all aware of how Harry feels Severus, the love-struck look he gives you is proof enough,' Minerva saw Harry blush which made all the staff chuckle. But they finally discussed what they were there for, the returning students, two lots of first years and some of the older Slytherin's who weren't punished apart from some restrictions placed upon them. So they knew the next few weeks might be a little tense, now they just had to wait and see what was going to happen.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter nine

Because of how everyone thought of Harry, the hero of the war, but also that he was now in a relationship with Severus Snape, Minerva thought it best if Harry disguised himself when he went to buy all his Hogwarts equipment, so both Harry and Severus took polyjuice potion and acted like any other student going about their business in Diagon Alley but since they were out Harry decided to get some new clothes and shoes, so they did a bit of shopping in London which meant it ended up being a very long day.

Harry sat at the Gryffindor table waiting for the rest of the students to arrive, he knew some would ignore him, friends that just couldn't accept he was gay and with Severus, others will treat him like always. Harry cared about all his friends but it really didn't worry him what anyone said, he had Sev, he loved Sev and to Harry he was the most important person in his life.

'They're on their way, I need to go outside.'

'I'll be fine Sev, stop worrying about me.'

'Impossible,' Severus kissed Harry then left the great hall ready to make sure students didn't straggle.

Harry didn't show he was hiding, he sat straight and stared at the door as the students started to file in, what did surprise Harry was that Draco Malfoy gave him a nod and a very small smile, Harry smiled and nodded back, he wasn't the only Slytherin to acknowledge Harry and he realised it was there way of showing they wanted nothing to do with Voldemort and they were letting Harry know.

'It looks like your quiet life is over Harry,' Hermione smiled as she sat down, kissing Harry's cheek and making him laugh.

'Yep, I never realised how loud we all got, but the last couple of months has been so peaceful. Hi Neville, how's your gran?'

'Good Harry, she said to say hello and if anyone has the nerve to say anything to you about your personal life to tell her and she'll deal with them.'

Harry and Hermione laughed, 'Pity help anyone that has to face Augusta Longbottom, I know I wouldn't want to,' Harry grinned.

'She's a feisty old woman, but a great gran.'

'She is Neville and she's very proud of you,' Hermione scowled as she overheard Ron talking to Dean and Seamus about Harry.

'Let it go Hermione, I'm not worried about it, neither should you be. Sev and I are happy, we don't care what they say.'

'You still shouldn't have to put up with that.'

'He won't be Miss Granger, I'm sure a few detentions with me will make them hold their tongues. Harry love, I'll see you right after dinner.'

'I'll be waiting Sev,' Harry smiled and was surprised when Sev kissed him again before heading up to the staff table, 'He can be so sweet sometimes, well, all the time actually.'

'Hello Harry, you seem so happy now, professor Snape is obviously good for you. I know in years to come you two will make beautiful babies.'

Harry chuckled, 'We might do just that Luna, how are you?'

'I'm well, looking forward to pudding,' Luna kissed Harry's cheek, then Neville's before heading to the Ravenclaw table.

'She doesn't care what she wants to say, she just blurts it out,' Neville said.

'Yep, but that's Luna, you accept her for the way she is or not at all. Oh we're being signalled by McGonagall, time to shut our mouths.'

'Except when a cock wants to be sucked.'

Harry turned his head slowly to look at Seamus, 'Exactly Seamus, I love to suck cock, you should try it sometimes, it's very pleasurable, what's even more pleasurable is taking up the arse. I hope you all enjoy your dinner, Sev did say he paid a visit to the house elves earlier today,' Harry saw Hermione and Neville trying to hide their smiles, 'He did, he had that very cunning Slytherin look about him but he wouldn't tell me why he spoke with the house elves except that Kreacher will obey his other master and was pleased to help, so did the other house elves, help with what, I have no idea.'

'Most of the house elves respect professor Snape, I could see them following his orders,' Hermione whispered then turned as the first years were brought in for the sorting.

Harry glanced up at Severus who raised his eyebrows, Harry just grinned and let him know he was fine, in every way. So Harry sat with his friends and watched all the first years get sorted, then McGonagall welcoming everyone back before the food appeared.

'Kreacher out done himself, all my favourites.'

'How did he know where you would be sitting?' Neville asked.

'House elves can sense their masters Neville, so at least we know the food here is safe to eat,' Hermione quickly glanced at Harry who couldn't hide his smile then started eating just like Hermione and Neville did but they kept chuckling as Ron, Seamus and Dean kept sniffing the food.

When McGonagall had made her welcome back speech and explained the rules to the first years, Severus walked down between the tables.

'Are you finished my love?'

Harry stood, 'All finished babe, Hermione, Neville, see you in our first class tomorrow.'

'You will, goodnight Harry, goodnight professor.'

'Goodnight Miss Granger, Mr. Longbottom, enjoy your first night back,' Severus put his arm around Harry and that's how they walked out of the great hall, with all eyes and whispers following them.

'I bet their going to suck each other.'

'Oh they are Ronald, they enjoy a good suck and a lick and anything else they want to do to each other,' Hermione said pleasantly then walked out of the great hall with Neville.

The first few days saw Ron, Seamus, Dean and a few other male students end up in detention, but not with Snape as they thought, with Filch who made them clean all the trophy's and shields in the trophy room and without magic, including a very large one that had Harry Potter's name on it. These few students hated doing this detention as they had them before, so they expected their arms to be aching by the time they finished. Hermione and Neville would tell Harry everything that was said by Ron and the others in regards to Harry and Snape, even Ginny would bad mouth them. Hermione and Neville would laugh with Harry when they repeated what they said back, shocking everyone within hearing distance. Even though Harry didn't want them to keep going, he couldn't help smile at his friends who were not going to let anyone get away with saying anything about Harry and Severus' relationship. A lot of students actually thanked Harry, they said that since Snape had been dating Harry he had mellowed, no snide remarks, no looks, nothing, he had even given out points to other houses. Harry explained to Sev of a night what some students said about him, how they wished he'd been like that for years, they would have enjoyed their classes more if he was.

Harry and Severus stepped into the great hall and walked to the Gryffindor table where Severus kissed Harry before heading up to the staff table.

'Harry mentioned that Ginny seems to go to the corridor where Fred died, Ron had shown her after she threatened him with the bat bogey hex. He also said Dennis is a little quiet which he normally isn't.'

'I'll speak with them over the next few days. How have they been in class?'

'Like a lot of students, distracted. Now and again I will see one of them jump or shudder. Maybe the older students should not have returned. I'm sure the minister could have worked something out for them.'

'We discussed it Severus, we all believe that they should face their fears, or their nightmares. If they didn't return then what is troubling them might have sat dormant until some type of memory triggered an event. Here we can keep an eye on them through the day and the portraits do of a night, not to mention the ghosts.'

'Yes, they can, Neville did mention that Ron has woken a few times shouting out Fred's name, but that's understandable. I would actually feel sorry for them if Harry didn't explain what they had been saying about us. Harry doesn't seem that concerned about what they say, the only time I've noticed he looks angry is when they say something about me.'

'He loves you Severus, he wants to protect you from everything, just like he's done for years.'

'I know and I love him for it, I'm just concerned that someone will say something that will be too much for him to handle. Harry's a very good fighter and normally he wouldn't hurt anyone but this could change that.'

'I believe he would stop himself going too far, maybe enough to scare them. Did you ever find out what Harry said to those other boys the first night, most hardly ate anything?'

'He told them I paid a visit to the house elves, he didn't elaborate just that the house elves will do whatever I asked and were pleased to assist, which was true, but I was only talking about cleaning the dormitories.'

'Oh Severus, still a Slytherin I see, but this time I applaud your tactics.'

'Thank you Minerva, it has been amusing,' Severus turned to see Harry smiled, so Severus blew him a kiss, very un Severus Snape, but Harry blew a kiss back before he continued eating his dinner.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter ten

Six weeks after the students returned to Hogwarts, Harry was sitting at his desk, Hermione beside him, Ron behind with Seamus beside him which of course had them saying a few things about Harry and Severus that Harry and Hermione heard but not Snape, one time Hermione got her professor's attention, she nodded her head towards her old friends to let Snape know they were still at it. Halfway through that class Ron and Seamus had detentions and points lost.

The rest of the class were concentrating on their potions when Hermione caught sight of something out of the corner of her eye.

'Harry, your nose is bleeding.'

Harry put his hand to his nose and when he pulled it away it saw blood, a lot of blood. Hermione held out a tissue, so he quickly pushed it tight against his nose.

'Professor, Harry's nose is bleeding, it doesn't want to stop,' Hermione said sounding worried.

'Mr. Malfoy can you please take Mr. Potter up to the hospital wing, Miss Granger, you can continue on your own, pack up Mr. Potter's belongings, I will get them back to him after class.'

Harry sighed as he stared at Severus and could see the concern on his face, but followed Malfoy out of the classroom.

'I can take myself Malfoy, I really don't need an escort.'

'Do you really think I was going to say no to Snape, not unless I'm suicidal which I'm not.'

'But he's your godfather, surely he'd let you get away with that.'

'Not really. But you don't seem concerned that your nose is bleeding and it's not a normal small bleed either, it's gushing,' Draco saw Harry shrug, 'You've had these before haven't you?'

'A few, but since we have a few minutes, what do you think about Severus and I?'

'I just want my godfather happy Potter and if that's with you then I support it. I can't believe the change in him, he smiles which as you know he never did. I think you're good for him.'

'Thanks, but I think he's good for me. Just know that I will never do anything to hurt him. But, we're here, you can go now,' Harry went to walk into the hospital but noticed Malfoy was following and he knew he wouldn't get rid of the blond, 'Madame Pomfrey.'

Poppy looked up and sighed, 'You know what to do Mr. Potter, I will get your potions. Do you require anything Mr. Malfoy?'

'No, professor Snape asked me to bring Potter here.'

'Well he's here, you can go now.'

Harry and Poppy waited until Draco Malfoy left then Harry went to the bed closest to the matron's office, he tilted his head back and kept pressure on his nose.

'When did it start?' Poppy asked as she held out a vial of thick yellow liquid, placing two on the cabinet beside the bed.

'Not long ago,' Harry sighed, 'So I need the treatment again?'

'Yes, I'm sorry Harry, but it looks like this will be an ongoing occurrence.'

'If this keeps happening in front of everyone someone might pick up on what's wrong with me, someone like Hermione.'

'They might, it is you that does not want anyone to know.'

'I know that it might be impossible to hide forever, I just want to wait as long as I can.'

'This is your decision, but since Severus is not here, then you will remain until he comes to get you.'

'There is one thing I was going to mention, something that's happened a couple of times.'

'Tell me before you drink the potion.'

'I sort of get this twitch, is that because of the tumour?'

Poppy sighed, 'Yes, it's where the tumour is located that's causing it, I will check to make sure.'

'If this keeps happening will it just stay as a twitch or will it get worse?'

'Until I examine you again I cannot say.'

'Best guess then.'

'Worse-case scenario, it could mean you could have a seizure. You whole body will start to twitch as you say, it will flex and shake, you could clamp your mouth shut, even bite your own tongue and deeply. I have a mouth guard and a potion that you can keep with you if this occurs.'

'I saw someone have an epileptic fit once, when I was out with my aunt, will it look like that?'

'Sort of Harry, everything is different as is everyone, but yes, it's similar. Now here, take your first potion.'

Two hours later Severus hurried into the hospital to see Harry lying with his eyes close and Severus knew he was asleep.

'How is he Poppy?'

'He's tired, the treatment will be ongoing, I just can't say how often he will need it. The symptoms will tell him. He explained about something else happening to him.'

'I've noticed he will seem to jerk, his whole body does.'

'Yes, it's the start, it means he could have seizures, it could stay as a slight twitch, we won't know until they continue. I have these for him,' Poppy held up the potion and mouth guard.

'What is that thing?'

'A mouth guard, Severus, if these seizures get severe then he could bite his own tongue off, that is in the most extreme cases. He will need to be given a potion straight away then this guard will need to be put in his mouth. The potion will take about a minute or two before the effects of the seizure wears off.'

'Did you explain this to Harry?'

'Yes, he didn't seem that upset.'

'He probably believes it won't work this time. Thanks Poppy, I'll sit with him until he comes around.'

'Maybe you could work on the potion again?'

'I have been, I need more time and some other ingredients which I'm getting on the first Hogsmeade weekend. I explained to Minerva that I needed to head to the apothecary, which means Harry has to stay here until I return.'

'I'll make sure he does, if he needs me, I'll be in my office.'

Severus stared down at Harry's pale face and noticed a few strands of hair sitting on his pillow. He pulled his wand and summoned Harry's beanie ready for when he woke. His eyes never left Harry's face until he saw the first signs of him waking, then he got Poppy's attention.

'Sev,' Harry said as his eyes slowly opened.

'I'm here my love, how are you feeling?'

'Tired, sick, like before.'

'I think this is showing you that the stress of the work is just too much for you Harry. Let me talk to Minerva, see if we can work something out.'

'I really wanted everyone to see I wasn't getting any special treatment just because we're together.'

'I know, but you can't keep up that level of work, your sick Harry, accept it.'

'I'm dying Sev and I have accepted it,' Harry slowly pushed himself up then put his head against Severus' chest, 'I don't want to leave you.'

'Then keep fighting, and the first thing you will do is stop all classes. You can still dine down with your friends, you just won't be attending any classes.'

'I might as well stop, it's not like I'll use my N.E.W.T.s, but you're right, I'm struggling in everything when I never did before.'

'I did explain that becoming too stressed would not be good for you. But you need to come back right after dinner.'

'I'll be here Madame Pomfrey, thank you.'

'Here, keep these on you, the potion will stop the seizures and the mouth guard will protect your tongue.'

'You could put a chain on the mouth guard, hang it around your neck. Now which pocket will you keep the potion in, we can't take time finding it if you do have a seizure?'

'Top left, it's easy to get to. Can we go now?'

'Yes, you can go Harry, but rest.'

Harry and Severus watched the matron head back to her office, 'Here, let me clean you up,' Severus pointed his wand at Harry's face, 'There, do you want this yet?' he held up Harry's beanie.

'Might as well get everyone used to seeing me wearing it,' Harry slipped the snitch beanie on his head then looked at the pillow, 'It's more hair loss earlier this time.'

'I noticed, that is why I summoned your beanie. Come on love,' Severus put Harry's shoes on before he put his arm around Harry and helped him to his feet, 'Nice and slow.' Severus was worried, Harry sounded depressed again. When the treatment worked the first time some of his old spirit returned, so much so he laughed and made sure to come back with some comments whenever he heard anyone say anything about them being together. Now though, his voice had lost is laugh, his life, his spirit and Severus wasn't sure what to do.

'There going to ask, you know they will.'

'I know, but I promised that I would not say anything even though I believe you should.'

'I know, I'll think about it,' Harry kept his head against Severus as they walked down through the school. They saw the curious looks on everyone's face that they passed, they never acknowledged them in anyway, just kept walking until Severus helped Harry undress and into bed where he fell asleep straight away.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter eleven

Over the next few days no one had seen Harry, some students even braved asking Snape how Harry was and where he was, he refused to say just that Harry wasn't feeling well. They all knew it was more than just some basic sickness but that's all they knew, except Hermione who knew the truth. When Harry was finally seen a month later everyone seemed to notice that Harry looked pale, that he didn't have a very good appetite and had actually fallen asleep at the Gryffindor table only to be woken by Hermione who handed him a cup of tea.

'Hi Harry,' Hermione said trying to sound cheerful so he wouldn't pick up on the fact that she knew what was wrong with him but she wasn't sure she pulled it off.

'Hi Hermione, thanks for waking me, I don't know why I'm so tired. Anyway, I wanted to ask, are you going to Hogsmeade on the first weekend?'

'Yes, I'm going with Neville and Luna, why?'

'I don't want anyone to stare so I was hoping you might grab me a few things.'

'I can get anything you want, just write me a list,' Hermione pulled some food towards her and dished herself up some dinner, but her eyes kept glancing at Harry, 'Harry, are you okay?' Hermione turned and saw Harry's whole body twitching, then he fell back on the floor, 'Help, someone help,' Hermione yelled as she knelt down next to Harry.

Severus, Poppy and Minerva raced over to the Gryffindor table, Severus pulled a chain from around Harry's neck, while Poppy took a potion out of his pocket, poured it into Harry's mouth before Severus placed the mouth guard in, then he moved so Harry's head was in his lap and held him while the spasms kept Harry's whole body jerking and twitching.

'I've got you Harry, I've got you, I'm not letting you go' Severus kept caressing his face. He could hear everyone talking, all asking what was wrong with Harry Potter. Severus glanced up at Minerva who shook her head, they knew now the students had seen Harry have a seizure that it will be all over the papers by tomorrow, 'It's easing Poppy.'

'Let's get him back up to the hospital.'

Severus stood with Harry curled in his arms but everyone noticed that he's nose was bleeding and he had something shoved in his mouth.

'What's going on Hermione, what's wrong with Harry?' Neville asked urgently.

'I can't say, Harry doesn't want anyone to know, he doesn't even know I know. Oh Neville,' Hermione wrapped her arms around him and cried, 'He's dying Neville, please don't tell anyone,' she whispered.

'I won't, but are you sure?'

'Yes, he has a brain tumour.'

'Let's get out of here, come on Hermione,' Neville kept his arm around Hermione, took Luna's hand who had joined them but Neville noticed for the first time that Ron and the other boys weren't scowling or grimacing, they seemed to be worried and if going on the look Hermione had on her face, they had reason to be worried, they all did. Neville changed the room of requirement then stepped in with his two friends, 'Now what is going on Hermione?'

'I overheard Harry and professor Snape talking one day. Harry has a brain tumour, his being treated but from what I've found out it can't be cure. Whatever Madame Pomfrey is doing has stopped it killing him, for now. I read up on all types, I won't go right into it, but the one I think Harry has will kill him eventually, seizures are part of it, usually when it's close…' Hermione started crying again, 'His dying and there's nothing we can do to help him.'

'Why hasn't he told you Hermione, you're his friend?' Luna asked.

'He doesn't want anyone to feel sorry for him. He used to see the looks when everyone thought he was the chosen one, he hated it. He said it was like he was dying the way everyone looked at him, now he is.'

'Well, I'm sorry Hermione, I'm going to talk to that stubborn man, but I won't say you told me since he has no idea you know. Now are you two coming with me to see how Harry is?'

Luna and Hermione glanced at each other, then nodded. So the three of them left the room of requirement and headed straight up to the hospital wing where they saw Severus sitting beside the bed which held Harry, McGonagall and Pomfrey were close talking quietly.

'We know what's wrong with Harry,' Neville said as he stepped over to the bed, 'Why wouldn't he tell us, his friends?'

'He knew eventually some people would work it out, Hermione mainly.' Minerva said.

'Actually,' Hermione sighed, 'I overheard Harry and professor Snape talking before term began, I've known for a few months.'

'Is there any hope Madame Pomfrey?' Luna asked.

'No, we've tried everything, all we can do is keep treating him but it's not really helping, just slowing it down.'

'I'm working on a potion, but I just don't think it'll help,' Severus shook his head as a sob escaped him.

Hermione placed her hand on Snape's shoulder and gave it a squeeze, 'Do you want some help professor, with anything?'

'Maybe that is what you need Severus, another set of eyes. If Hermione, Luna and Neville are willing, then let's take turns staying with Harry and help you find something that can save him,' Minerva said.

'I want to help as well,' Draco stepped over to the group, 'Your my godfather Severus, you're happy with Potter, I don't want you to lose him, so let us help.'

Severus glanced at the four students near him then back down at Harry who's eyes slowly opened. 'Damn it, that's it, yes you four can help, everyone can help if it means you live Harry.'

Harry saw tears in Hermione and Luna's eyes, 'Oh, please don't start crying.'

Hermione sat on the bed then wrapped her arms as best she could around Harry, 'If I want to cry for you I'm going to, you can't stop me Harry Potter.'

'You can't stop any of us,' Luna said.

'Hermione and Draco are going to help me with the potion, Neville and Luna can stay with you.'

'Don't I get a say in any of this?'

'No,' Severus, Draco, Hermione, Luna, Neville, Minerva and Poppy all said together.

Harry sighed, 'Can you keep the crying to a minimum then,' Harry put his arms around Hermione, 'It makes me want to cry and I've done that enough.'

Hermione sniffed then sat up, 'Now that we can help, I'll stop.'

'You have to live Harry, you and professor Snape are going to have beautiful babies, three of them, two girls and a boy. Sorry professor, but Harry wants Jamie as one of the girls names, after he's father.'

'You see Harry, it's not over, it never is. So listen to all of us or you might miss out on spoiling our children.'

'I'm scared.'

'I know you are, so am I,' Severus sat on the bed and pulled Harry into his arms and again Harry broke down. The others around the bed moved away.

'Severus made the first potion work better, he's trying to improve it. Two weeks ago he picked up some extra ingredients but he said he hasn't had time to work on it as he's been keeping an eye on Harry,' Poppy said.

'Then Hermione and I will help, we're both good at potions.'

'Is professor Snape really your godfather Draco?' Neville asked.

'Yes, he is and I've never seen him as happy as it has been with Potter.'

'Let's see if we can go over his notes Draco.'

'You can, once I've gotten Harry into bed we'll all go over everything,' Severus helped Harry stand then kept his arms tight around him as he could feel how weak Harry was.

'I'm not tired.'

'You only have to rest, I'm sure Neville and Luna can keep you company.'

'You lot go, keep us informed.'

'We will Minerva,' Severus nodded to the four young people that meant a lot to him and Harry.

Down in Severus and Harry's bedroom, Severus got Harry comfortable before opening the door to allow his friends in.

'If he needs anything Kreacher will take care of it. Hermione, Draco, let's get started and the four of you can skip your homework, this can be classed as your homework, helping to save Harry.'

'See Potter, Severus would never do that before, now you have him allowing students to skip their homework, what have you done to my godfather?'

'Fell in love with him,' Harry smiled up at Severus, he received a chaste but loving kiss from Severus then watched as he left the room with Hermione and Draco, all three had a determined look on their faces. Neville sat on the chair beside the bed, Luna kicked her shoes off and climbed up on the bed where she sat crossed legged facing Harry which made him chuckle, but it also made his heart ache with love for his friends and hoped they wouldn't have to grieve for him when he was gone because Harry now believed that nothing could save him.


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter twelve

Severus, Draco and Hermione worked nonstop over the next few days, whenever they were not in class. Neville and Luna were always with Harry, they made sure he was never alone. Four days after Harry's seizure he finally headed back down to the great hall to have his dinner. Harry said he would only eat if the others would, he wanted them to rest and forget about the potion even if it was just for a while. Naturally everyone stared at Harry and the great hall fell silent when he walked in. He was very pale, they could tell he'd lost weight, the circles around his eyes were now dark and stood out, and the beanie on his head showed something wasn't quite right.

'Are you sure you're up to being here Harry?' whispered Hermione.

'Yes Hermione, I can't stay cooped up forever. All of you have been great, really, but I need to get out for a while.'

'Yes, I suppose you do,' Hermione gave Harry a small hug then turned back to her food.

'Harry.'

Harry and Hermione turned, 'Kingsley, sorry, minister, I have to get used to that.'

'No, you don't, you're my friend,' Kingsley took Harry's hand and pulled him to his feet, 'Look at you, bloody hell Harry, you should have told me.'

'I didn't want anyone to know. But you're not going to make me cry are you?'

Kingsley gave a very sad smile, 'I feel like it and it's been a long time since I cried,' Kingsley hugged Harry right there in the middle of the great hall, ignoring all the whispers, 'Does Poppy know how long?' Kingsley asked as he released Harry.

'No, the potion Sev modified has slowed it but it can't stop it.'

'Yes, Minerva filled me in when I saw all the headlines about you having some type of fit.'

'A seizure, I'll probably have more. I've been stuck in bed for the last few days, I wanted to get out of the room for a while.'

'I can't blame you even with Severus keeping you company in that bed,' Kingsley raised his eyebrows as he smirked.

'I wish, but he kept saying no, I'm too weak, he's a stubborn man, but I love him for it.'

'Since everyone knows your sick I decided to speak with some people, Unspeakables. They seemed to work out what was going on, the truth behind your scar. They have decided to see if they can do something on the tumour the snake had. Even though it's dead they said they might be able to find something to shrink it.'

'They won't tell anyone, will they Kingsley?'

'No, they are bound by their oath as Unspeakables. They weren't even going to talk to me until I mentioned I knew everything, then explained how we were friends. So this beanie which I have to say looks unusual, I have never seen a hat on your head.'

'I hate hats, but I keep losing my hair. Sev taught me the glamour and I was using it, but I figured everyone knows something is going on now, but I wasn't going to walk around bald, that reminds me of him.'

'Yes, I suppose it would.'

'Minister, I see you are holding my man, I hope you aren't trying to talk him into leaving me for you?'

Harry and Kingsley chuckled, 'No, he's all yours Severus, I have my own man. Minerva filled me in on everything. Tell me, this potion you're working on, do you think it can save Harry's life?'

'Hermione, Draco and I haven't stopped working on it, but we're just not sure. We're doing everything we can, experimenting with different ingredients. So far it hasn't worked but we are not going to give up.'

'Not until I'm dead.'

'Harry, please stop saying that. You are alive and until that day comes you keep saying you'll live. Try to make yourself believe you'll live.'

'I'm sorry Sev, it just feels so hopeless,' Harry slipped his arms around Severus, his head against his chest, 'I don't want to die.'

'None of us want you to die.'

'Let's move over here, we have everyone listening, Hermione, we'll be right back,' Kingsley nodded then the three men moved away.

'Did I hear right Hermione?'

'And what would that be Ronald?' Hermione asked in a cold voice.

'I'm sorry okay, but Harry's dying, is he really?'

Hermione scowled at her old friend before tears fell from her eyes again, 'Yes, he's dying, he has a tumour in his brain. We're trying to save him, but nothing's working,' Hermione put her face in her hands as she started to cry again.

'He saved my life, saved so many of us, there must be something that can save him,' Ron said in a choked voice.

'So far there isn't,' Draco said as he stepped over to the Gryffindor table, 'Do you want to continue working Hermione?'

'We have got those other ingredients that need testing, but let's wait until Harry finishes talking to Kingsley. He mentioned the Unspeakables, they are going to see if there is anything that they can do to help Harry.'

'The minister looks worried though,' Draco glanced down at the three men talking in the corner.

'Everyone looks worried, my stomach is in knots, you can see Harry growing weaker no matter how hard he tries to make us believe he's not.'

Draco sat beside Hermione, 'We can't give up Hermione, Harry has pulled off miracles before, maybe it's time we did to save him instead of him saving us all the time.'

'I'm not sure there is a miracle left out there for him. Professor Snape told me that Harry believed he was only lived to fulfil the prophecy, that he was only here for that.'

'Sounds like Harry really believes nothing will work.'

'I don't, but Sev's made me promise to remind myself that I'm alive and if I think positive I might just beat this.'

'He's right, my godfather is always right so listen to him Harry.'

'It's really true Harry.'

Harry turned to stare at Ron, 'Yes, it's true. When I'm gone you'll have to find someone else to talk about.'

'I'm sorry okay, Ginny was hurt, but it's the way we found out about you two. We all thought you should have told her.'

'Why, we weren't seeing each other, we hadn't for so long and I never told her we might be back together,' Harry's face screwed up, 'Sev, Sev.'

'I've got you,' Severus helped Harry sit, 'See, you should have remained in bed, you're not up for all this.'

'I feel terrible.'

'I know you do, now how about I take you back to bed?' Harry nodded so Severus picked Harry up, 'Come on my love, you need rest.'

'Kingsley,' Harry panted, 'If they find anything…' Harry shrugged.

'Don't worry Harry, if they find something to save you we'll be here faster than you can apparate. Now let Severus put you to bed,' Kingsley watched as Severus carried Harry out of the great hall, 'I've got them working on potions as well, they are also going to try to work on some type of charm.'

'What about a muggle remedy Kingsley?' Hermione stood, 'They can operate and remove some tumours, maybe it might help Harry.'

'Yes I've heard that and it could but from what Poppy said about the size and where it's located the Unspeakables believe that operating on Harry would kill him.'

'So there's nothing,' Hermione started crying again and everyone in the great hall ended up surprised when Draco wrapped his arms around her and let her cry into his arms.

'Why don't we head down to their rooms, you two help professor Snape, we'll keep Harry company,' Neville said softly.

'That's a good idea Neville, keep trying, just like I am. There are a lot of people out there right now all asking to help somehow.'

'Okay, thanks Kingsley, let us know if you hear anything.'

'I will, now being the smartest witch around I'm sure you can come up with some ideas, so get to work Miss Granger.'

Hermione gave a very small smile, 'As ordered minister.'

'Oh your sounding like Harry, he can be a real smart arse sometimes, but that's him, now go,' Kingsley watched as the four young people left the great hall, only then did his face fall before he turned to head up to the staff table to speak with Minerva who looked just as upset and worried as he was. Maybe it was now that the boy who lived finally dies.

As Severus left the room, leaving Neville and Luna with Harry, 'Would you two give me a Draco a few minute?'

'Anything Harry, we'll be in the other room,' Neville said then left the room with Luna.

'I want a promise from you Draco.'

'I can't say I will until you tell me, so say it.'

'Sev, when I'm gone,' Harry saw Draco wasn't going to protest, 'Nothing can stop this but I'm not giving up. I just want you to do everything you can for Sev, I don't want him going back to the way he was and I hate saying this, but I don't want him to turn to the dark arts again because he's hurting. Please, do everything in your power to help him through this.'

Draco sighed, 'I've already thought of this, what he might do if you die. You have that promise Harry, I will make sure he doesn't do anything stupid, even if I have to tell him you'll be watching.'

'Thanks, I don't want to hurt him and I did promise you I wouldn't, but we thought the treatment worked. Now I wish I never started anything with him, it might have saved him some heartache.'

'No, don't regret it Harry, I've never seen Severus so happy, so even if it's about to end I believe he deserved this time with you. Now I should get back in and help, but I'll be here for Severus,' Draco gave a very small smile before leaving the room but his hope was that he could keep his promise to Harry, that Severus wouldn't do anything reckless or stupid if Harry died.


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter thirteen

Over the next couple of weeks Severus, Hermione and Draco kept working, Neville and Luna would always be with Harry but now that everyone knew the truth, some of his other friends wanted to help. One thing that Harry said, he wasn't going to spend his last days stuck in a room, he wanted to be down in the school or even out in the grounds on a sunny day. So even though it was cold, he wanted to sit in the sun, feel the wind on his face, listen to all the sounds of life. Severus relented because he realised that nothing seemed to be working, so he decided to give Harry whatever he wanted. So on some days while Severus kept working with Hermione and Ron, Neville, Luna and now others would sit beside Harry while he would lie down on the blanket. They kept trying to make Harry smile so they would all tell stupid or ridiculous stories of what they all got up to over their years at Hogwarts, even Ron who was hesitant at first but he finally sat near Harry.

One day when Harry wanted Severus to stop and spend some time with him, they decided to lie together on their blanket, Harry's friends stayed back and let Severus have some private time with Harry, but they couldn't help glancing over at the two men on a blanket, Harry again with his head in Severus' lap who kept running his fingers down Harry's cheeks.

'Look at Hagrid and Grawp,' Hermione nodded and they all glanced at the giant and half giant. Hagrid was crying into a large handkerchief with Grawp patting his head.

'Hagrid always loved Harry,' Luna said sadly.

'Sunken cheeks, pale skin, dark circles around his eyes, he looks so bad,' Hermione sniffed again.

'We know Hermione, but we've tried everything. I think we have to face facts, Harry will die, so it's time to just be his friend, be with him,' Neville sighed, 'I want to pull out some miracle like I did with the sword of Gryffindor and the hat, but there's nothing.'

'No, there's nothing. I don't want to give up but we've tried everything,' Draco said as he stared across, 'Severus looks so lost.'

'He changed so much since he's been with Harry, I'm worried about him, how he will cope when…' Hermione couldn't continue, she couldn't say it, say when Harry was dead, her friend, her best friend was going to die. No matter how hard she tried to be strong in front of Harry, she always ended up with tears falling down her face, but she wasn't the only one.'

'Look,' Luna said and pointed towards the gates of Hogwarts.

Hermione, Neville and Luna turned, 'There must be hundreds of people standing there,' Neville said.

'What are they doing here?' Hermione asked.

'They want to be here for Harry, I spoke with a few of them. They said they wanted to show their support for the saviour,' Minerva said sadly, 'He's going fast now, isn't he?'

'He can't die, he just can't,' Hermione choked out then she was crying into Draco's arms again.

'What's that?' Neville asked as he gazed around trying to find the source of the music then everyone started to look around as the music got louder and louder, like it was coming closer.

Everyone stared in amazement as the large red bird flew overhead before it finally descended to land beside Harry who was asleep still with his head in Severus lap. Fawkes looked at Severus then lowered its head, dropping tears onto Harry's famous lightning shaped scar. Slowly every student and staff all walked over until Harry, Severus and Fawkes were surrounded by hundreds of people but not a sound could be heard. Even Kingsley had been told Harry didn't have long so he'd been turning up every day, so he now stood next to Minerva watching as time seemed to stand still as Fawkes the phoenix continued to drop tears onto Harry's scar. After about an hour Fawkes lifted his head then the beautiful but haunting song from the phoenix filled the air, he flew up until he was sitting on one of the branches, but Fawkes just like everyone else kept staring down at Harry who hadn't moved. Even the people at the gate staring in at Harry were amazed at seeing Albus Dumbledore's phoenix watching Harry.

'Do you think?' Hermione asked softly.

'I'm trying not to hope Hermione,' Severus said as he kept his eyes on Harry. For the next half hour no one moved or made a sound, 'Look, the circles are disappearing.'

'Oh please, please make him well,' Hermione begged.

'Sev.'

'I'm here Harry, open your eyes.'

Harry blinked a couple of times, 'Hi, that sleep was the best I've had in a while, I feel better.'

'Um Harry, I don't think it was the sleep that's making you feel better, look up love.'

Harry's brow furrowed the looked up, 'Fawkes, oh god, did he use his tears?'

'Yes, he did,' Severus smiled as Harry sat up just as Fawkes flew down to stand next to Harry, 'Did you save me again Fawkes?' Harry gave the large bird a pat as it nodded his head, 'Thank you Fawkes.' Harry slowly stood but he took it easy and then saw everyone standing in a large circle around him, Severus and Fawkes, 'Blimey.'

'Not many people got to see Fawkes Harry,' Minerva smiled then stepped over to give the bird a pat, 'Do you know that a phoenix will only present itself to someone that deserves it, that has earned their respect.'

'I know I called him when I showed loyalty to Dumbledore, but that's all I know about Fawkes.'

'There's more, he just nodded to you which shows that he can understand…their owners.'

'Owners, but Dumbledore owned Fawkes, why did he nod to me?'

'I think Harry's brain needs work, it's been resting too long,' Severus smiled, 'Fawkes has presented himself to you Harry meaning you own him now.'

'Fawkes,' Harry faced the bird again then knelt in front of him, 'Me, you want to belong to me?' the bird nodded again then ran his beak across Harry's face before his beautiful phoenix song was heard again, 'You are a miracle Fawkes, I always thought so, thank you.'

'Can you let me examine you Harry, I know phoenix tears can heal anything and Fawkes healed you before, but I would like to check.'

'Yeah, of course Madame Pomfrey, you've kept me alive all this time,' Harry stood with his eyes open and watched as the matron moved her wand over his head.

'All I have to say is this is a miracle, the one we've been hoping for. The tumour is completely gone.'

Shouts, applause and whistles went around Hogwarts, but the people at the gate realised what had happened as well, so they all sent red sparks into the air as their way of celebrating that the boy who lived has survived again.

'Fawkes, you have given me back the man I love, thank you,' Severus patted the bird then pulled Harry into his arms, kissing him passionately to more cheers and whistles, naturally there were a few comments but not derogatory comments this time, this time the comments were all saying the same thing, go shag and not in front of everyone.

When the two men came up for air they kept staring at each other, than Severus dropped to one knee making Harry and everyone else gasp in surprise.

'Three times I've thought I've lost you, three times I felt my heart dying. You are my love, my life, do me the honour of marrying me and I will show you exactly how much you are loved.'

Harry saw Severus pull a ring out of his pocket, he wiped the tears falling down his face as his eyes stared into his lovers eyes.

Harry nodded, 'Yes, oh merlin yes. I love you Sev.'

Severus stood, 'I love you to Harry, we have a wedding to plan. Now Luna said three children, two girls and a boy, one girl named Jamie. Do you really want me to have a daughter named after your father?'

'Yes and the boy's middle name will be Sirius, you can choose the first names for the others, but maybe more than three, five, six, how about ten?'

'I didn't want to scare either of you before, but there will be eleven, a set of twin girls who have dark red hair and green eyes.'

'Lily,' Severus said.

'Mum,' Harry said then saw all the people at the gate, 'Blimey, why are they here?'

'For you Harry, they wanted to be here for their hero,' Kingsley said then hugged him, 'You scared the fucking shit out of me Potter, don't do it again.'

Harry chuckled, 'I scared myself Kingsley.'

Hermione rushed to Harry and started to cry into his arms as all Harry's friends surrounded him but no one tried to make Hermione let Harry go, they knew they would have a fight on their hands. Severus moved back with Minerva and Kingsley, they stood together watching as Harry was changing, the healing done by the phoenix tears was bringing Harry back in every way, not just health wise, but they could all see that fighting spirit Harry used to have, his life that used to be so evident was again easily seen. It seems to a lot of people that miracles can happen, they don't know when or why it will happen, they just know it happens. So from the boy whole lived to the man that survived, he found his miracle.

The end:


End file.
